I was a model, but after baby, my man says I’m so ugly that looking at me turns him off. What should I do?
He tells me to go to gym, spa, learn some new sex tricks from dvds, buy new lingeries, etc.
But between the neverending cycle of cooking, cleaning, nursing, working from home (I have to work because he doesnt have a steady job), where should I fit spa and gym?
I try to get him to help with baby once in a while, but he would only do it for a sexual favour, like.... he would watch baby for a while in exchange for a bl0w j0b, bath the baby in exchange for intercourse, change nappy if I give him a full body massage afterwards..... oh and if he changes poopy nappy...... he would want me to do ALL those things, which I dont always have time for.
But now that the sight of me turns him off, I cant ask him to help with baby anymore. I have no one to help me care for baby and we cant afford day care or nanny because he has used up all my savings to buy the new car. Help please.
thanks mommyheather, it feels good to hear someone say something nice
Tagged with: day care • full body massage • intercourse • nanny • nappy • neverending cycle • new car • new sex • sex tricks • sexual favour • spa • steady job • working from home
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You deserve a lot better than that.
After having a baby he should be helping you!
I say ditch him, he’s no good and is dragging you down with him.
For now, ignore everything he says like "you’re ugly", think about the baby. Maybe it would be good to (since you are basically suporting him) tell him that he is no longer entitled to YOUR money unless he steps up his game.
Otherwise, tell people at your work or family or anyone trusting how he is treating you and they will understand and hopefully help you to escape from that hell.
I wish you luck!
xxx
this is not a man. this is clearly a child. Dump him and find yourself someone worthy of being called a man.
omg. take your child and run. don’t let money stop you. you’re taking care of 2 babies already by yourself there’s no reason to think that you need this poor excuse of a man. you’re not relying on him now, although he doesn’t seem very reliable anyway. run run run as fast you can before you just learn to live with it.
give him a kick in the goolies to remember you by - and chuck him out!
~x~
Your man needs to be reminded how lucky he is to be married to you. You do not know what you have until you lose it. Go to your mothers home, then have the police call him and tell him that you and the baby died in a terrible traffic accident.
If he ever really loved you, he will be devistated. But, if he never really loved you, he will start looking for another woman. Either way, you will know how he really feels for you and you can make a decision your marriage, whether or not to continue.
Sounds like he only wanted you for your body in the first place. Love is a bit more than that.
Leave the ar**hole - you deserve better.
dump his ass…he degrades you, insults you, doesn’t have a job, won’t help w/ the baby…what more do you need to realize he’s a sorry excuse for a man?
dump this jerk as soon as humanly possible. he cares nothing about you or the baby.
Get rid of this drop kick idiot. Really, you don’t need this mans help in your life. Get him for child support and tell the judge what you are telling us here and he will have no sympathy at all. Really girl, you shouldn’t be treated like this and you will find some one way better then him! You shouldn’t have to do sexual favours for HIS responsability for half his kid. Leave him.. You can do so much better. You may have low self estem coz you are hanging around this drop kick.. He is using you.. Be strong and get out!! good luck.
Katya, you know in your heart what you need to do. Everybody can give you advice but no one is in your shoes. You know how much you can take from this man and how much is enough.
He sounds useless but my mom use to tell us that everybody has potentials as long as they are alive. Everybody is not for you, though!
Make up in your mind how worthy you are to yourself and that baby and go on from there! We have to empower ourselves and know what and who we will entertain. Pick and choose your audience. You have that right!
Not any or everybody can grace my presence.
I have worth and no man have to validate me!
It is hard, after a baby and when you are doing all the work and listening to put-down after put-down, to stay attractive. Maybe you could do with a makeover - take a look in the mirror and see if there may be some justification for where he’s coming from (of course, there’s no justification for the way he talks to you about this). If so, take a girlfriend who you can really trust to dress you well out shopping and get a new outfit that’s not baggy sportswear. You will need a friend, because when you have been put down time after time you no longer know quite who you are and so you don’t know how to dress. Get your hair cut. Force yourself to cook well if you are not at the moment, and go for regular exercise and walks.
He is treating himself (new car) like a baby because he has been ousted from that position by the newcomer. He has been able to get attention and love from you by bargaining, so that’s what he has done. He has not grown up yet, seeing everything in terms of his needs. You may be able to get him to grow bit by bit if he sees that you take what he says about your appearance seriously. You could ask him for reciprocating support – like getting a job. Being a breadwinner would make him feel more like a father than a spoiled infant and actually give him self respect.
It all depends on how much you love him and how much you are willing to put up with for the sake of your child. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out.
obviously, he’s treating you like a trash. don’t let this animal continue to abuse you. dump him, im sure you’re better off left alone with your baby. you have to make a better environment for you baby and just do good things for him/her.
OMG you poor thing!!! What an A$$…who says things like that???
You need to kick his lazy good for nothing butt to the curb. There are PLENTY of people out there for you who are WAY better than this jerk!! Take the little one and get away from him, if he wont leave you have to. What a horrible example he is setting for the baby (especially if you have a boy).
Women are beautiful after childbirth…fat, thin, stretch marked, and with the extra "tummy" we get. That’s a badge of honor and not everyone can have one.
DO NOT listen to him, I’m sure you are gorgeous (doubly so if you were a model), so get him out before he does anymore damage to your self esteem, and you milk every penny you can out of him for child support!!
Good luck…and ignore every piece of $hit that comes out of his mouth!!!
Yeah! pull the other one it’s got bells on!!!
Sounds like you need a new man.
What kind of a father is he going to be later on? ‘Sorry honey, I didn’t pick the the kids up from school because you didn’t ***** me’ doesn’t sound like something I would want the father of my kids to be saying.
Sounds like you chose a dead beat to father your child, sorry if that sounds harsh but i don’t know how else to say it. this guy is a jerk and unless he agrees to shape-up, maybe counseling would help, and act like a husband and a father its time to tell him to hit the road. or your other option is to live your your loveless marrage till the child is out of the house. I hear a lot of couples talk about staying together for the children, but I’m not a fan of that. Children learn how to be adults by modeling their parents what kind personal relationships do you think your child will have in the future with this guy around as a role model
best of luck
tell him you did not make the baby on your own, that he was a part of it and you expect help. you just had a kid and he is on you about your body, that is bull. i tell my husband if he wants it that bad, he can go take a cold shower. tell him that there are people that look pretty horrid BEFORE they have a child and it takes you a while to get back. If you have stretch marks, use cocoa butter sticks, its pure cocoa butter. I rarely use mine and when I am 2 feet from a mirror, i can hardly see them and I had them bad. good luck to you.
that man is a pig . i feel so sorry for you , to start with you shouldnt have to do sexual favours for him to take part in the caring for his child . he should do it naturally for nothing but self satisfaction . you need to take an outslde look at your situaton and see as hard as this sounds you be best off without him , so you used to be a model now your a mum and a model ,dont let him put you down , im afraid to say but if he carries on wit the blackmail your going to end up either stuck in a rut or else hating him its not good for baby or you , kick him to the kirb you dont need him . all you have to do is get strong would you like someone treating your child like that . i hope you kick him into touch soon best of luck and remember plenty more fish in the sea . dont let him destroy you as a person
You need a new man….the one you have sounds like a T O S S P O T. no offence to you but you dont need that, just leave him, tell him where to go. Next time he wants a bl0w j0b, bite it and tell him to take a hike. Tell him ur too tired for his needs
I hope the new car is in your name. Use it to drive him to the bus stop. Even if it’s not, your stll better off cutting your losses and sending him down the road. Single parenthood is much easier than putting up with a man who does the kind of mental and physical abuse this man is putting you through. If he won’t leave, get a restraining order. Sue his ass for child support. If he asks for a sexual favor, remind him that that’s how you got pregnant in the first place. If you choose to keep this s.o.b., pile his clothes up in a separate pile. Don’t cook for him and don’t buy him anything like cigarettes or alcohol. He is a user, which is an abuser. If need be, go to a shelter to get away from him! Men who fall into this category often end up physically abusive more than just the sex, which is basically rape.
I am so sorry you are going through this! No woman should ever be treated that way, ever! And no man should ever treat the mother of his child this way.
You need to pull yourself together, clear your mind & prepare for the life of a single mom. Both you and your child will be so much better off without that kind of influence in your lives.
You need to find one person who can help you get your new life in order and when everything is ready do it then. It will be easier on you and your child if you don’t have to spend any time with the Loser after you leave him. I feel that there is no hope for that man & you shouldn’t even try to work things out. Just make sure that you solve all visitation issues in the very beginning, that way you can get child support from him right away to help your child start a new and healthy life with his/her mother.
its so sad to hear something like that, and that hes only using for his sexual pleasures, you should leave him and raise your baby on your own because you sound like a woman capable bringing up a beautiful human being…..hold your head up for your baby!!!
u would be way better off without this jerk!!!
I am so sorry your man makes you do all those things. That man is no father for that baby, and sure as heck should never be your man!
Leave him immediately! While he is at work, pack up, and drive wherever you feel is safe to go.
Please do this. Another man will find you who you have been waiting for and he will help you out with the baby. If it takes a long time for another man to show up, it’s okay, just know that you are in a great place without that man who treated you so badly.
Peace and Love,
=)
tell him to get the hell out… i would never put up with that from my old man thats emotional abuse…anyhow if you turn him off so bad why does he need sexual favours in exchange for doing anything, that doesnt make sense…what he is doing is working out your insecurities to make you feel so low you will never have the guts to leave him and he will walk all over you…please get the hell away from him
sounds like a ass
why should you do all those things too please him and for another thing
a baby is 50/50 job not a 75/25 tell him to get off his ass and help with baby
hes a parent aswell what right does it give him not too do anything unless for ’sexual favours’. Hun be the decent person tell him to shape up or you and baby move on with your lifes and be happy.
tell him the baby’s as his responsibility as yours, and that he should be proud of you, not putting you down, you gave him a special gift in the child and he should treat your both well, if he continues, you either have to put up and shut up or leave him. good luck
get rid of him you will be much better of bringing up your child without him
Get rid of his sorry pathetic butt, and find someone who is more mature and acts like a father and adult.
The courts should find alimony a good option for you. He doesn’t sound fit for custody.
You could try counseling, but I don’t think it helps self-centered jerks.
Get rid
Ask him for a monthly allowance to spend on yourself and the baby. Put this monthly allowance in a private savings account. When the allowance becomes enough to pay for a deposit on your own appartment you kick that self righteous womenising peice of faeces to the kurb and you get child support and you get all the money your entitled to off the state and maybe get a small partime job and you find yourself a real man.
walk
I suggest you leave him. At Once. This man is an asshole who is leeching all the life out of you. Do not let him treat you like this. You do not deserve it.
Ditch him.
He’s a creep.
You deserve better.
get a new man in your life, the one you have sounds like a total jerk.
Pft what kind of man is that.
It’s his duty to watch his child as well
Well I am sorry to be the one to say this but your man is a LOSER! If he can’t help support you and the baby I would kick is butt to the pavement. AND no man that loves a woman should EVER tell there loved one that he thinks that they are ugly and ext. You need to Stand d up to him and tell him that if he can pull his weight around the house he is GONE! I know it would be hard but just think of what kind of environment your baby will be raised in…not one you want your child to be raised in. Never think that you are not pretty enough or skinny enough or so on because no matter what you look like YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! I am serious in every way that you need to tell him to hit the road. You have your baby to think of. He/she is the most important thing in your life and it depends on you to make the right decision.
find a new man.
Oh my gosh, you poor girl. NO ONE on earth has the right to say things like that to you or anyone else. Grow up guy! He is the epitomy of selfish!!!!! You gained weight for his child! He needs therapy, and you need to get tough with him and just tell him that there are things about him you don’t like either, but for better or for worse, you are together and you love him and you accept things. He must be VERY shallow to say things like that to you. You are a wonderful Mother, you must be, cause you carried a beautiful child into this world……. Please don’t let anyone in this lifetime treat you that way!@ YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT!
oh my God i couldnt actually believe what i was reading!!!!!! how have you stayed with this man (although i could think of other words to describe him). i am flabbergasted. who does he think he is, stand up to him, get out of there, do something for your sake and your little babys sake. he doesnt deserve you! nobody deserves to be treated like that, sexual favours??!!! i honestly cant believe it i am still shocked! good luck for the future cos if you stay with this guy you are going to need it
Ok the whole exchanging sexual favors for taking care of your baby sounds like bs. If this is true your an idiot for taking it. I would move out asap. I don’t care if I had to move back in with my parents. He is a complete loser. I left my babies father just because he was disrepecting me by looking at born all the time. I raised a disabled child by myself. I didn’t even have family to turn to. So if I can do it anyone can
You sound like a lovely and caring person…but also very insecure. You deserve better than him and should run away. What type of dad needs something in exchange to watching their child!!!
My son is 4 months old and I feel ugly but my partner fancies me even more since he saw me give birth.
your man should admire you! You just grew a baby in your belly for 9 months then brought him to the world;You are FANTASTIC since you can give life!
xx
you actually would give him a sexual favor to have him help with his own child? If this it true (which I doubt) than you BOTH are sad and need some help.
Get rid of him, and find a new man.