can someone help, im beginning to lose my hope?
im 31 and sadly, the mental health services have failed me all my life, after ive had a very hash tough life so far, missed out of everything normal ; friends etc. - suffered physical and psychological abuse........head injuries in a street attack in 1997 etc.
i live in a one bedroom flat for 5 years now struggling with severe agoraphobia , severe anxiety , rage problems and outbursts.....racing obsessive thoughts each day , paranoia that people in society are ostracising me........i have BPD diagnosed years ago, but have OCD , PTSD and possibly rapid cycling bipolar undiagnosed.
i want further assesment, because of my symptoms , and how bad theyve got..........even though ive made progess im in a crisis right now and cant leave my apartment because of severe anxiety, panic outside.....watching for signs of danger....feeling threatened.......rage scared ill lose control........when i go to sleep i have disturbing nightmares.......have uncontrolable rage feelings outside........feel paranoid that people are socially ostracising me........have racing thoughts everyday with a clouded mind...........cant think straight.......mind blanks out.........have obsessive worries everyday.
the mental health services wont further asses me even though its obvious i have co existing conditions running along side the BPD.
they wont give me a regular psychotherapist , telling me theres no resources.
they wont give me any medication , telling me their addictive, have side effect.....wont treat my real problems.
so their turning me down for everything virtually.
me and mum have to fight the system to make complaints because of the services or treatment program their not giving me and failing me with..
im going to see my psychiatrist today to tell him my symptoms are unmanagable at the moment........that i cant cope, and i wanna be put in a unit as a voluntary patient..........where i could get the further assesment and treatment program im after
so ive now been and they STILL refuse to do further assesment because they dont feel its required of i have '' co existing '' illnesses like PTSD and OCD -..
my psychiatrist still wont give any medications , telling me their addictive....have side effects and dont address the root cause of my problems.
they wont refer me for a volunatry inpatient option to be further assesed......even though im in a crisis with my symptoms right now.
they wont get me any therapy or psychotherapy because they dont feel im ready because of the severe anxiety , rage and agoraphobia.
all their prepared to offer is a support worker to meet up with and go out with....attend dropin centres etc.......and their calling that '' exposure therapy ''.
there saying i need to try this first before i start any psychotherapy...
and that if i start exposure therapy, my anxiety will disappear.
im so angry !
the psychiatrist said ive been assesed by 8 consultants in the past who all say i just have BPD.
but i know i have co existing illnesses of PTSD , ocd................and want further assesment.
they wont give me any medications because they said it masks the problems and are addictive.
wont refer for any 1 on 1 psychotherapy .
wont admit me as a voluntary patient .
what the hell do i do ?
go legal and fight for the right treatment program ?
my mum just left my apartment and said -
' shes not sitting here listening to how i feel hopeless and are gonna commit suicide , that if im talking about im gonna commit suicide , '' i'll do it '' - and she '' will follow me ''.
she stormed out and said she ll be back monday.
shes been looking after me in my flat for 6 weeks because my ankle was in cast, because torn ankle tendons were operated on.
my mood has plummeted since hearing this news today about not getting the help i want and i said i might commit suicide.
i cannot handle being continously failed by the mental health services - when im asking for the right treatment program desperatly.
i feel desperate, empty, abandoned, with no where to turn to.....i feel like either -
doing myself in for good, plucking up the courage.
or
going to A and E on monday when i get my disability money to be able to travel - and telling them i feel suicidle and i cant cope with my symptoms any more.
what should i do ?
im not getting the right treatment program or further assessment i feel i need .
if your going to give a ridiculous answer dont bother because ill block you.
your advise or opinion is irrelevant and dont count.
essentiallysolo :
and who are you the forum moderator ?
why do you think you matter ?
why do you think your opinions matter ?
why did you try to answer this question or show interest ?
your views arnt wanted .
blocked .
Tagged with: anxiety panic • asses • bipolar • clouded mind • hash • head injuries • mental health services • nightmares • obsessive thoughts • paranoia • psychiatrist • psychological abuse • psychotherapist • ptsd • rapid cycling • severe anxiety • signs of danger • straight mind • voluntary patient • worries
Filed under: Watch Live Cycling
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if advise and opinions are irrelevant and don’t count, just what do you expect from this community? what you have posted here is nothing more than a rant… you know what you have to do, you are just angry about having to do it.
Sadly the system fails a lot. Someone I knew just got shot by police because he was having a mental fit and wouldn’t drop a knife. He should have continued to be hospitalized but they let him out.
I suggest trying to find answers on your own and with friends, family and the power of Jesus. Forget doctors, they’re just out to make money and have probably made you ten times worse by telling you that you have a bunch of mental illnesses. Just watch the movie "What About Bob". That should help.
you can try positive psychology centre to seek for help.
i heard that they use solution focused therapy,emphasized on client-therapist rapport to help clients.
Since you call it a "flat" i can only assume you are from Europe where medicine is socialized… and EVERYONE gets help (or at least they claim)… Like Obama and them are trying do here in the U.S. I hope your post is a warning to all of the people in U.S. that we are headed towards the boat you are in if people don’t stand up to our gov’t
I thik I deserve your attention because I gave you my attention reading what is written there!
Ask help to God, and believe that he is gonna help you because he never denies help to a lovely son (like you). I know that some times it´s a little hard to see who you are in truth. And I believe your are the other side which is just sleeping. But God can wakes him up. I´m gonna pray asking God to show you that your are not the one you are seeing now. And no matter if you don´t believe it, because I believe!!!!!!!
God bless you!!!
At the moment you feel so bad about yourself, but at this age things can seem miserable when you have just come out of your 20’s and just finding your way in the world, but believe me that things WILL get better. I know people at 30 who felt the same, but years later they totally turned their lives around, step by step, and changed things completely. I dont think anti depressants are any good but if they help you and dont give you bad side effects only you can make that decision, but what i would suggest may help you much more is looking at alternative or complementary therapies such as reiki which is fantastic for everything emotional/mental/physical/spiritual, and there may be a community organisation in your area that runs taster sessions of this, it is really really good for depression and feeling bad about yourself, look it up and try it as regular as you can as i believe in it, ive tried it myself and i know others who have been very depressed and reiki helped them turn their lives around and feel much happier and relaxed in themselves again. Never let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, you dont need people trying to pull you down or make you feel you "need help", what you need is to love yourself and find yourself again.
I know people would recommend counselling, but it depends what TYPE of counselling really and what would be better for you. One type that i know does work is NLP (neuro linguistic therapy) or EFT. If you look these up and see if anyone in your area does this or try and get your doctor to refer you to someone who does this, it is fantastic and regular sessions of this will really help make a positive difference to the way you feel.
What I would very much suggest is that you look at all the things that make you happy, listening to your favourite music that brings back a happy memory - get hold of that music and play it!! watch your favourite movies, buy some new clothes off ebay, get your hair done, treat yourself to a little mini break if you can afford to go away or stay with a relative for a week and have some time to yourself. Plenty of rest/sleep, and walking in the sunshine will help you feel better too. Do things that make you feel happy.
I know at the moment you may feel that things are so depressing but please realise that you DO deserve to be happy and you deserve love, respect and happiness. Think about what kind of future would really make you happy, and make that future happen, cos you CAN. It will take time and it will take courage to take steps forward but it can be done, anything is possible and when you are feeling at rock bottom you can only go UP.
You are very important and remember that. Learn to love yourself, anything that you are not happy with - change it. Let your heart be your guide and tell yourself that you ARE strong, you CAN get through this, and once you do, you will see how strong you really are and will be able to help others who are going through a similar thing cos you will have found the way forward and will be able to help others find their way forward too. Believe in yourself, I know you can do it, if you want to chat i am more than happy to talk with you if i can help in any way.
Take care, and DONT GIVE UP!!!!! In a few years time you will look back and see how far you will have come, make tomorrow your new start and take little steps forward, you are really important and you sound like such a lovely person so please give yourself a chance, remember that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, there is always a way around a problem so dont give up!!! You are entitled to be happy and it doesnt matter what other people think of you, it is what you think of yourself that counts and you are a lovely person.
sassy xx