im 31 and sadly, the mental health services have failed me all my life, after ive had a very hash tough life so far, missed out of everything normal ; friends etc. - suffered physical and psychological abuse........head injuries in a street attack in 1997 etc.

i live in a one bedroom flat for 5 years now struggling with severe agoraphobia , severe anxiety , rage problems and outbursts.....racing obsessive thoughts each day , paranoia that people in society are ostracising me........i have BPD diagnosed years ago, but have OCD , PTSD and possibly rapid cycling bipolar undiagnosed.

i want further assesment, because of my symptoms , and how bad theyve got..........even though ive made progess im in a crisis right now and cant leave my apartment because of severe anxiety, panic outside.....watching for signs of danger....feeling threatened.......rage scared ill lose control........when i go to sleep i have disturbing nightmares.......have uncontrolable rage feelings outside........feel paranoid that people are socially ostracising me........have racing thoughts everyday with a clouded mind...........cant think straight.......mind blanks out.........have obsessive worries everyday.

the mental health services wont further asses me even though its obvious i have co existing conditions running along side the BPD.

they wont give me a regular psychotherapist , telling me theres no resources.

they wont give me any medication , telling me their addictive, have side effect.....wont treat my real problems.

so their turning me down for everything virtually.

me and mum have to fight the system to make complaints because of the services or treatment program their not giving me and failing me with..

i went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him my symptoms are unmanagable at the moment........that i cant cope, and i wanna be put in a unit as a voluntary patient..........where i could get the further assesment and treatment program im after..

so ive now been and they STILL refuse to do further assesment because they dont feel its required of i have '' co existing '' illnesses like PTSD and OCD -..

my psychiatrist still wont give any medications , telling me their addictive....have side effects and dont address the root cause of my problems.

they wont refer me for a volunatry inpatient option to be further assesed......even though im in a crisis with my symptoms right now.

they wont get me any therapy or psychotherapy because they dont feel im ready because of the severe anxiety , rage and agoraphobia.

all their prepared to offer is a support worker to meet up with and go out with....attend dropin centres etc.......and their calling that '' exposure therapy ''.

there saying i need to try this first before i start any psychotherapy...

and that if i start exposure therapy, my anxiety will disappear.
the psychiatrist said ive been assesed by 8 consultants in the past who all say i just have BPD.

but i know i have co existing illnesses of PTSD , ocd................and want further assesment.

they wont give me any medications because they said it masks the problems and are addictive.

wont refer for any 1 on 1 psychotherapy .

wont admit me as a voluntary patient .

what the hell do i do ?

go legal and fight for the right treatment program ?
my mum just left my apartment and said -

' shes not sitting here listening to how i feel hopeless and are gonna commit suicide , that if im talking about im gonna commit suicide , '' i'll do it '' - and she '' will follow me ''.

she stormed out and said she ll be back monday.

shes been looking after me in my flat for 6 weeks because my ankle was in cast, because torn ankle tendons were operated on.

my mood has plummeted since hearing this news today about not getting the help i want and i said i might commit suicide.

i cannot handle being continously failed by the mental health services -

''when im asking for the right treatment program desperatly. ''
i feel desperate, empty, abandoned, with no where to turn to.....i feel like either -

doing myself in for good, plucking up the courage.

or

going to A and E on monday when i get my disability money to be able to travel - and telling them i feel suicidle and i cant cope with my symptoms any more.

what should i do ?

my mother has even been convinced by the psychiatrist that their approach is the '' right approach '' .

she said why dont i just accept it.

i said my symptoms are to great, i cant manage them and need the treatment and further assessments im asking for......and that they are still failing me...

they wont give me medications , psychotherapy or further assessment and that - IM RIGHT IN WHAT IM DOING.

so now my mums stpped fighting the battle with me....i know she might be mentally exhausted but she said shed fight this till the END with me.....because its important i get the right help.

please can i have serious answers.
Someone who thinks says :

dont duuuude me you idiotic brainless nobody.

answer the question or dont bother at all

iam not your friend idiot.

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